12 Blessings - Family Harmony

Okaaaaay... Back after 6 months!!

This one is for Dank and Mark, for the sermon that they missed during encounter weekend..Hee..

Everybody wants family harmony. In fact God made family to reflect our spiritual relationship with Him. Hence a family is a place for each of its member to receive love and care.

Principals for family harmony is recorded in Colossians.
Colossians 3:18-21
Wives submit to your husband as is fitting in the Lord
Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh on them
Children obey your parents in EVERYTHING for this is pleases the Lord
Fathers do not embitter your children or they will become discouraged

In fact relationship between children and parents is so important to God and it is his heart beat to "turn the heart of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers" (Malachi 4:6a)

There are 3 kinds of relationship that need to be nourished in a family.
1. Husband - Wives relationship
SWITCH ON your mind to submit and to love.

It is not easy for wives to submit. In fact it is written submit to your husbands - NOT Christian husbands. Submission is not an easy thing to do. It takes a great deal of faith to submit, believing that God will look after your life despite of how the one in authority (husbands/leaders/bosses) treated you.

While for husbands, its even more stressful! Husbands should love their wives like how Christ loves His church, i.e. willing to lay down your live for your wive (Ephesians 5:25)

2. Children - Parents relationship

TURN ON your EMOTION to obey and encourage

Obeying parents takes high priority in God's check list. In fact, this is the only commandments with a blessing attached to it.
Exodus 20:12 -> Honor your father and mother, SO THAT you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.


3. Family - God relationship
ACT ON your will to remember and restore.

While each family members are not perfect, God is.

It pleases the Lord to see us obeying our parents DESPITE of the circumstances. Yes, it is true that our parents made their mistakes and sometimes it hurts us, but when that happens we should always turn back to our heavenly Father and surrender the hurts to Him. It is God's will for us to love and honor our parents.

It is true that children hurts their parents, brothers hurt their sisters and husbands can hurt their wives. However God is always there to restore these relationship. GOD's will is for the family to unite and love one another.


Below is my personal testimony on how God recovered my personal relationship with my father:

I often quarreled with my parents during my teenage years. And its not just me! My mom and dad also quarreled frequently. Home was not a place where I want to be after school. I would rather be involved in many CCAs and other activities than going home straight. I felt so alone at home.

Things did not change much after I received Christ. I know that my parents love me, but I just felt that I was not treated fairly. "They just could not understand me!" I thought. I turned to God and 'complain' about my parents. During these period I found out that God is the perfect father who understands me, He wanted me to forgive and love my parents as He forgives and loves me. I couldn't remember when exactly, I finally decided to hold my anger whenever I felt that I was treated unfairly; instead of arguing I chose to serve them and listened to their advices. Things slowly improved, but mum and dad still quarrel pretty often.

Then something happened in my 2nd year of senior high-school. To over-simplified things, my parents want me to move to another school, while I wanted to stay in my previous school. One day my dad came to me and told me " Son, you think about it and let us know your decision, its up to you to decide." So I came to him and told him that I wanted to stay on in the old school because all my friends are there. Guess what... My father got angry with me and told me that I have no will to be successful and if I decide to stay I can just go out from the house. I was so hurt. I still remember, after that quarrel I did not talk to ANYONE, not my mom nor my dad nor my brother for 1 week. After a week I started talking to my mum and brother.

Life in the new school was fun. Months after months passed, but I still chose not to speak a single word to my dad even though we meet EVERYDAY at dinning table. Until around 6 months, then God spoke to me again on this command of honoring my parents. He touched me, and revealed to me that HE is the only perfect father, He had forgiven my wrongs so I should forgave my dad.

So after 6 months or so.. I started praying for God to open an opportunity to reconcile me with my dad. The opportunity came. Representative from NUS and NTU came to my school. I know that my dad really wants me to go overseas to study. So my mum arranged for me to go alone with my dad to NUS and NTU public talk in Jakarta. I remember the first sentence that I told my dad after 6 moths was "NUS is not bad" and his replied was a simple " Yes" hahaha....

Right after I spoke the 1st sentence, I felt God's peace. I remembered my father's expression when he spoke his simple "Yes", it is an expression of great relieve. Slowly I started to talk to my dad. It was not easy for both of us, afterall 6 months is a considerable amount of time. But God was working. He recovered my relationship with my parents, my dad especially.

I can see God's work even after I came to Singapore. I thought I will be separated from my parents and that's the end of our relationship. I prayed that God will bless my family with peace as I left my parents in Indonesia. I realized that we actually got closer and the relationship grew stronger after I left! I was and still am amazed on how God works in my family.

Now my parents don't quarrel anymore. I learned to be more patient and understanding towards my parents. I realized that mum and dad only want what is best for me. They love me so much. Its just sometimes they do things differently from what I expect. I chose to honor them and love them. God is faithful in my family, He restores and mends broken relationship in the family. Praise be to God!!